Breathless: Part 5

About nine months after I found out they were engaged, Chris and I were emailing back and forth about once a month just keeping each other up to date on our lives, wedding plans, etc. I was even invited to the wedding…which Chris had to fight tooth & nail for. Naturally, I wasn’t stupid enough to go knowing how she felt about me. It would have been a disaster.

After the wedding, I remember looking at the pictures and sensing that something was off. She had always been a great performer and having known her for more than 10 years, I could just tell she was putting on a show at their wedding. It made me sad to see him looking happy and her clearly faking it. I secretly wondered what the future held for them.

I knew how she felt about me (for no good reason, I assure you) and respected the fact that they were married now. I’d hear from Chris about every other month and eventually realized that they were moving back to Indy, where we’re all from. Chris was going back to school (a very good thing) and she had gotten a great new job in the area. Things seemed to be going well for them and because I cared about him, I was happy for them.

Another month or so goes by and I get an email asking if we can talk that night. I could tell by the tone of the email that something was wrong.  He called me later that night and pretty much laid everything out on the table. They’d been having problems before they got married and even though he wanted to, they didn’t slow down and deal with things at the time. He wanted to know how long I’d known that it probably wouldn’t work out. Of course I didn’t answer him, but since the moment they started dating, I wasn’t in huge favor of it because I knew them both so well.

They were still making up their mind as to what to do in regards to their marriage…and being the smart person that I am, I kept out of it. I didn’t want any of it to come back to me. I let him know that no matter what he decided, I would support him and be there for him in the end. But, in order to protect me (and him, too), I couldn’t be involved. He totally agreed and just needed an opinion from someone who knew them both.

A short time later, they separated and filed for divorce. We talked a bit about everything going on. I was four months into my final break-up with Jerk, so I kind of understood where he was with things. He was so devastated at the whole thing. He thought they were happy, but she was really putting on a show the whole time. Only after the wedding did the real person step out from behind the curtain. It wasn’t pretty. Chris is one of the most giving people I know. He will let people walk all over him (sadly, I was one of them once) because he wants them to be happy, but in the meantime, he is losing himself.

I asked him once if they ever went to pre-marital counseling. They thought that counseling was only if you were having issues later in the marriage. I know he desperately wishes they would have been smarter about it. It broke my heart to see how hurt and upset he was.  Especially since I couldn't do anything at all to make him feel better.

...more next time...

Why I'm in a Great Mood on Monday:

Reason #1:  Even though I had to get up while it was still pitch dark outside on Saturday morning and go run, I beat my goal!! KK and I had a slumber party on Friday night (circa 1995) and woke up to freezing temps the next morning. It was COLD at 6:30…so we walked to Starbucks and then stole a cab to get to the race. I had no idea it would be SO packed. There were people everywhere! Overall, I ran a 10:50 mile and finished the whole course in 33:37. Not bad for not running in almost two weeks! KK performed her duty as distracter perfectly and talked the entire time while I sweated it out.

 My only complaint is that the course was entirely too small for 12,000 people to run at once. At one point we were running on the Shedd Aquarium lawn. I didn’t eat anything before hand (except a Apple Spice from Starbucks) so my blood sugar dropped pretty low right after the race. Fortunately, they had plenty of chocolate fondue and hot chocolate ready! I wish I could eat that after every run! In all, it was a great race. Definitely motivated me to start running more and beat my current time!

Reason #2: My mom & Lex are in town!! YAY! I love my momma and was excited when she wanted to come up for my uncle’s play reading. My parents have had Lexie for about a month now. It’s extremely depressing to not have her around all the time. However, being her mother, I have to put her best interests first (even if she is "just a dog"). With me, she’s locked up four days a week in her crate from 8am – 6pm and went to daycare one day a week (of which she was terrified.) By the time I get home from work, it’s dark and she gets a quick walk around the neighborhood before we lounge around or I head out to some other plans.

With my parents, she gets to sleep in till whenever, she has a backyard to run around in, my parents are home most of the time (perks of working for yourself), she has our family dog, Pache, to play with, AND my mother sets up play-dates for her with other little dogs. No joke. Looking at this, it’s really no comparison that the best place for her is with my parents. I can still have her back whenever I want and can travel home as much as I want to see her. She still sleeps with me when I’m home, but the best thing for her right now is to be there. Her life is better. It absolutely kills me to type that because she is my baby and she’s a big part of my life.

I miss her every day, but right now, my mom and dad need her more. They love having her around and have been spoiling her beyond reason. At any rate, mom & Lex are here through Wednesday spending time with Uncle Drew & I. Very exciting. I see lots of shopping in my future.

Reason #3: Speaking of shopping: Before we went to the play reading last night, we stopped off at the shiny new Apple Store in Lincoln Park. I’ve had a craptastic PC for the past three years and it’s been a special hell trying to fight with it. I was just going to look into which one I’d want, but ended up walking out with this beauty:

                                             

 Oh yes. It is mine. It will be my new boyfriend. Not really, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be obsessed with it for quite some time. Plus, the Apple Store will take my old PC and transfer EVERYTHING over to my new boyfriend – er, Mac. It feels good to be a Mac. I can’t wait to get home and open it up! So very exciting!

Reason #4: Finally, this pretty, married lady is back from her honeymoon!! YAY! I know it was only a week, but when you literally email/talk to someone every day, it’s a long freakin’ time not to hear from someone! She was definitely my first email this morning…I can’t wait to see the pictures from Cabo and the wedding!

Why Running is Dangerous

So, I totally forgot to mention that I’m running a 5k tomorrow! YAY! Kind of.

I finally got my act together and signed up for a race. Why would I do this? One, because I said (in April) that I would complete the C25k running program. We’re not going to dwell on the fact that it’s now November.

Reason number two: I’m not one to just up and train for anything, especially when there’s no actual deadline. Big shock. So, when my roommate mentioned the Hot Chocolate 5/15k, my little ears perked up. What? Chocolate? I can totally run toward chocolate…especially Ghiradelli chocolate. Yep. At the end of my 5k race, there’s a chocolate fondue station AND Ghiradelli hot chocolate. If you think I’m running this for the exercise, you’ve lost your mind.

If you don’t know me, I hate to look like an idiot (which is ironic considering the rest of the story). So, I started the C25k program and was kicking butt and taking names up until about 2.5 weeks ago. I was on my first 25 minute straight run. About ten minutes in I was feeling good. “I can DO this,” I thought.

Because I live in the city, it’s a little tough to find a continuous path unless you live on the lake (I don’t.) So I just run around my neighborhood on the sidewalks. Well, as I was jogging in place waiting for a stoplight to change at a busy intersection, I landed wrong on a crooked piece of sidewalk. And I went down. Way down. I totally rolled my ankle.

After I checked to see how many people had seen me fall while RUNNING IN PLACE, I limped for the next five minutes. Then, I decided I was ok enough to finish the last ten minutes. And I did. Go me.

I got home and like a good former gymnast, I elevated and iced my ankle for the rest of the night. I mean, I had run on it for the last half of my run, so how bad could it really be?

I woke up the next morning to this:

  

Um, my ankle doesn’t normally look like someone shoved a baseball in it! I couldn’t wear normal shoes for almost a week. And running? Forget about it. I could barely limp to the train; running was clearly out of the question.

So, I took a week and a half off. This doesn’t sound like too much time, but when you’ve been running three times a week for 6 weeks, it really takes a toll! I’ve gotten back up to 25 minutes without dying. I figure that once I get out there tomorrow that I’ll get psyched up and really just go for it. Plus, I won’t want to look like an idiot in front of the 30,000 people also doing the race.

I don’t like doing things alone, so I enlisted the help of my friend, KK (the one who runs marathons for fun) for this race. Her exact words were “I’M GOING TO ANNOY THE CRAP OUT OF YOU FOR THREE MILES!” And she will…but it will motivate me.

Motivation is something I’ll definitely need at 7:30am on a Saturday in November!! Who schedules a race that early!? It’s not even light yet! And it’s only 35 degrees! Totally sucks. But, I paid good money for this and dangit, I’m going to run this stupid race before I eat my weight in chocolate!

My ultimate goal is to not walk AND to finish in less than 35 minutes. That’s more than an 11 minute mile (my average is 10:30). So that’s all I got.

To recap: Running in place is dangerous, but running toward chocolate is good. Very good. Amen.

Breathless: Part 4

Make sure to catch up on Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3...

After graduation, I moved to Nashville and still hadn’t heard from Chris or my former best friend.  I did know through the grapevine that he had moved with her to Minnesota to chase her career. In the meantime, I met Jerk and kind of forgot about all the drama. Well, about a month into our relationship, Jerk & I broke up (it should have been for good, but it wasn’t). I had been putting angry away messages up for a few days when I got a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize. It was Chris. Apparently, he had always checked my messages and was really worried about what was going on. At this point, I hadn’t heard a word from him in over 6 months.

He stayed on the phone with me for over an hour while I caught him up on what was going on. He told me I deserved better and that I was doing the right thing. For a while, we stayed in touch via email…even when Jerk & I got back together. Eventually, she got ticked that we were still friends. Did I mention that she hated me? Kind of key to the story. She despised that Chris and I had been so close and could talk about anything. She hated the fact that I had known him longer and had dated him in the past. So, out of respect for her, we stopped talking.

Sometime later, I was at the grocery store with Jerk and got a phone call from one of my friends, Jess. Her exact words were “You need to hear this from me. Chris & Amy are engaged.” Being the good friend she is, she knew I needed to hear it from someone with my best interests in mind and not find out through Facebook or the grapevine. My heart dropped. Of course I had been expecting it, but it didn’t make it any easier to hear.

...to be continued...

In A Funk.

This past weekend was Ann’s wedding. It was gorgeous. She was absolutely stunning and everything fell perfectly into place. The food was delicious, the photographer was fun and everyone had a great time. My groomsman and I were the one ones who didn’t bring dates, which worked out pretty well! Between him and one of the ushers, I always had someone to dance with.

Funny story: Our dresses were fitted and had a built in bra. After dinner I had the other cool bridesmaid, Jamie, loosen mine up a bit real quick at the table. Dave, the usher, saw this and goes “what the heck?” I said “I can’t breathe!” So later we were dancing and he goes “Let me know if you can’t breathe…or if I just take your breath away.” I almost tripped on my heels I was laughing so hard.

After the wedding ended, a bunch of people were going to go out to a bar down the street, but they were taking forever. It was freezing, I had a huge bag and had been up since 7am…all I wanted to do was go home. So I did. I traipsed up the stairs, scrubbed my face, took out all the bobby pins and poured myself into bed. And slept for 10 hours.

I woke up the next morning in a funk. The only person I talked to the entire day was my mom…and that’s because I called her bawling. As thrilled as I am that all of my friends have found the right person for them, it’s that much more glaringly obvious that I haven’t. It’s still just me. I can still go an entire day without seeing anyone and no one would notice. That’s really depressing.

A few weeks ago, I had coffee with a great girl, Megan, whom I met from this blog. We ended up talking for two hours about everything from the fabulousness that is Chicago to how unfair it is to be the oldest child. She’s also single and made the comment “It’s not that I’m unhappy with my life, but it would be nice just to be dating.” I couldn’t agree more.

I’m not looking to get married tomorrow at all. But is it too much to ask to go on a date with someone who’s not only interesting, attractive and available, but also feels the same way about me? Because if it is, I quit right now. Both Megan and I are gainfully employed, smart, funny and totally normal, good girls. And, BONUS: we’re not unfortunate looking at all. So, why are we both single in one of the most populated cities in the world? We should be beating guys off with a stick. Seriously. I really don’t understand.

I called my mom yesterday crying my eyes out because it sometimes just feels hopeless. She reminded me that it’s not hopeless and that God has a plan. But that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. To be really honest, I think this plan sucks right now. Where is the lesson in me being miserably alone? I’ve been playing that game for more than three years and it’s getting old, real fast. Patience has never been my strong suit. I’m sure God is probably up there just shaking His head at me because He sees what’s ahead. But, I don’t. I don’t know that it will all be ok. I don’t know that I’ll ever get married or have kids. Actually, forget marriage and kids…what’s a girl got to do to have a decent date!?

Sorry for the Debbie Downer post…I know I’ll snap out of this funk eventually. But for now, that’s where I’m at.

"If he's out there somewhere I would give everything just to know.

Just to hold and to finally have him take me to sunrise from indigo."

~Sister Hazel

Breathless: Part 3

Make sure to catch up on Part 1 and Part 2!

Shortly before Valentine’s Day of my senior year, my roommate was asking me my plans for the big night. When I asked why, she spilled the beans that Chris wanted to come up to take me out as a surprise. For whatever reason, I ended up going home the weekend before Valentine’s Day. I called him a few times to let him know that we should hang out and then a few more to tell him something funny…but he never picked up.

When I got back to school, I still hadn’t heard from him and had the ominous “punched in the stomach feeling.” Well, a little Facebook stalking confirmed that he had actually been AT Purdue…with one of my former best friends. I was shell-shocked. He and I had a very firm NO DATING FRIENDS policy because we knew it wouldn't work well for us.  I didn’t hear from him at all for almost a month. He ended up coming to take her out for Valentine’s Day instead of me.

I was absolutely crushed.

Finally, my former friend decided to talk to me about it…over IM. So awesome of her. She said that she wanted my “blessing” before they continued dating. I told her in no-uncertain terms that if they wanted to continue dating, I wouldn’t stop them…but I wouldn’t be in the picture either. It wasn’t handled well, but the very long conversation ended with me telling her that he’s a great guy and he deserves to be happy, so take care of him.

At the same time this was going on, I was LOSING.MY.MIND in another conversation with Chris. I was literally throwing the book at him. I was so hurt and ticked at how he’d handled things that I threw out insults like a child. Because we had so much history, I knew what would hurt him the most…and I wasn’t afraid to use it. It wasn’t fair of me and I was saying things out of anger even though they were the exact opposite of what I actually thought.

The end result of those conversations was that they continued dating and I stepped out of the picture. He and I had ruined other relationships together and if this was really what he wanted, I had to let him go after it. After having him in my life for six years, it was really hard to move on without him. I was devastated and I missed him like I never could have imagined. It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. Eventually, after a lot of tears, torn-up letters and talks with friends, I was able to accept reality and move on with my life.

More later....

Why I Suck At Blogging This Week

Let me tell you why I suck at blogging this week. First off, this whole “work” thing really gets in the way of a lot of things. Seriously. I walked in Monday expecting it to be a pretty easy week. My clients clearly sensed this and started pouring stuff on! Boo on that. See my desk? Yeah, neither do I. Boo. 


Pardon the crappy cell phone picture


Second, this gorgeous girl is taking up a lot of my time:

This is Ann. I met her when I was just a little college freshman. We were shoved together in a TINY dorm room for an entire year. We both chose to go pot-luck for our freshman year and I think we still tell people this is the BEST decision we ever made. Seriously.

What are the odds that two people from two different states both have backgrounds in gymnastics and diving? Pretty slim, but somehow we ended up together. We had some awesome times in that dorm room. We’d go to Tark-mart (dorm convenience store) and get the following: half gallon of milk, roll of cookie dough, pink Laffy Taffy, Nerd Ropes, plain M&Ms and peanut butter. Seriously…at least once a week we’d eat all that. It’s a wonder we didn’t weigh 800 lbs.


Ann & I


Even though we only lived together for one year, it was enough. There are very few people who I can email when I’m having a “sad day” and they’ll know exactly what to say. Ann is the best person for this. I’ve never had someone who just understood where I was coming from. She can take my jumbled up rambling and put it into perfect perspective for me. She’s not afraid of telling me to grow up or that I’m being a moron. I love that about her.

At the same time, she’s also one of my biggest cheerleaders. She was there for me when Jerk & I broke up and promised me that even though I could barely get through a day, that I would be better off on the other side. She knows all about my family drama and will just listen to me talk about it all. She doesn’t try to fix it or tell me what to do. She just listens.

celebrating 25 years of Ann!

To say she’s one of my favorite people would be a gross understatement. I’ve watched her go through some really hard things during and after college. I flew up to Chicago to celebrate her 25th birthday and then again when we both had puppies so they could meet. I love that she’s back in school chasing after something that she truly loves – interior design. She’s so creative, smart and funny. This girl can make me laugh like no one else. Whether telling me how she’s going to hurl while introducing herself to watching her dance after a few too many drinks, she cracks me up. I’m so glad that we now live in the same city. We get to hang out with our puppies (who are best friends, btw), go get mani/pedis, and have slumber parties just like freshman year (minus all most of the junk food).



Head-banging with her brother  - seriously


So, back to why Ann is stealing all my time this week/weekend. Because SHE’S GETTING MARRIED!!!! YAY! She has a wonderful fiancé, Mike, and on Saturday, they will (finally) be married! This wedding has put a lot of stress on her. Between wedding stuff, a bunch of stupid drama, a full time job AND school, the poor girl has been run ragged. I’m excited that she finally gets to wear her gorgeous dress, Christian Loubiton shoes and go on her honeymoon because, well, she deserves it!

Ann & Mike - Almost married!

I’m lucky enough to be a bridesmaid and cannot wait to stand up there for her! Though my to-do list pales in comparison to hers, being a bridesmaid is some serious business. Especially a single bridesmaid. I’ve got nails, toes, spray tan, hair and all that fun stuff to get done. The dresses are adorable and one of the few that can actually be worn again! Thank you J. Crew! Plus, my shoes....are awesome.  Not as amazing as Ann's, but I'm pumped about getting to wear them!



The Bride & her Maids!



Ann, I know you read this, so let me just say this: I am so excited for you! I’m so glad that you’ve finally found a great guy who understands you. You both deserve nothing but the best and I know it’ll come to you. Thank you for being an amazing friend for the past nine years (holy crap, we’re old). Thanks for the constant back and forth emails, Google chats and phone calls over everything and nothing all at once. Who would have thought my pot-luck freshman year roommate would be one of my best friends almost ten years later? I’m so glad we were stuck together on that awful floor in the crappy dorm. My life would not be the same without you. You are truly one of my favorite people and I can’t wait to celebrate your happiness this weekend! Love you!

Sarah's ReWedding...

…And here's the promised post on Sarah's rewedding.  For those of you who are lost.  my younger cousin (mentioned HERE) married a Chilean - the orginal wedding was in Chile in March, but because our family couldn't all be there, we celebrated their "reWedding" over Labor Day weekend.

Saturday, we had the rehearsal and then the rehearsal dinner was a Chilean BBQ. There were almost 100 people at the dinner…including ALL of our cousins and even some second &third cousins! It was perfect weather and it was so good to catch up with all my Aunts & Uncles as well as run around with the kiddos. Unfortunately, I was so busy playing tag/wrestling little kids that I didn't take any pictures.

Sunday morning, Sarah, her mother-in-law & I went to get our hair and make-up done. It was really fun to see Sarah interact with her MIL and so fascinating to watch her translate back and forth…her mind is so quick!

 

Then it was off to the church to finish getting ready and start taking pictures. My mom directed the portrait portion of the evening – such a GREAT idea having someone bark out those orders…mom did a great job at it. Goodness knows it’s not easy to corral 60+ family members.

Even though they had a “real” wedding in Chile and this was just a recommitment ceremony, they still had bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids & flower girls. It was so cute to see the little girls walk down the aisle!  There were so many of them!

Finally, after the ceremony – it was time to party. Our family may be pretty tame, but we LOVE a good party! They had made the traditional Chilean drink Pisco Sours. They had a cousin’s dance after the first dance and then EVERYONE was on the dance floor for the next 3 hours…even the little kids kept it going until midnight!

The WHOLE family!  By far my favorite picture from the whole thing :)

Seriously, one of the best times I’ve had with our family in recent years! Now for the onslaught of pictures….



Adorable Flower Girls & Junior Bridesmaid



 

Sarah with three of the flower girls (there were 6 total!)



Left:  My great-grandma...99 and STILL driving every day.  Also, drinks a beer every day.  She's my inspiration.

Right:  My grandma - if you have some spare prayers, we'd appreciate them!  This was right before we found out she has acute leukemia.  It's been a rough month

Weird little cousins.  I <3 them :)

Toast time (geez, bad posture much??) & my only older cousin, Ben

If you think I won't use the above pictures against my little cousins, you are dead wrong.

  

The fam



I <3 my momma.  And the right picture explains why I'm so odd - clearly got it from my parents :)

Thoughts from Africa

I don't have a biological sister.  Neither does my mom.  However, my mom has her best friend .  Her real name is Karen, but Landon &I have always called her Bunny.  We're not really sure why, but we're the only ones who call her that.  Kind of odd now that I'm typing it out.

At any rate, Bunny has three beautiful children.  JT and Michael are great kids...they're smart, funny and I know they love having Landon around to look up to.  Erin is the middle child.  My mom is her God-Mother...which makes me her God-Sister.  For a long time, we've called each other "sis"...especially in recent years.  Since I've been away for eight years, I haven't gotten to spend near the amount of time i wanted to with her. 

I've always worried about her because I wasn't sure she had an entirely clear view of how the world works and seemed to think that she was entitled to whatever she wants.  She is a beautiful person, inside and out.  She has done ballet all her life and is exquisitely talented. Even though I wasn't always around,  I tried to spend time with her when I could and be a positive influence in her life, because she needed one.

Well, after graduating, she decided that college wasn't in the cards yet.  Instead, she was accepted into Global Citizens Year.  Currently, she's in Senegal, Africa for a year.  She has a blog that she's writing while away.  Below is the latest entry she wrote to the classroom that she student taught just before leaving.  It really inspired me...especially the bolded part.  So proud of her!



I want to let you in on a secret.

Perfection is not possible. Age is not always an accurate measure of potential or inner strength. And sometimes, failure IS the only option in becoming stronger.


For a year, I worked under Mrs. Jackson as your Student Teacher. Although I was seen as a teacher by all of you, to many people, I was still a student. Just because I was always teaching you about rules and structure did not mean that I wasn’t still learning about rules and structure as well. I want you to understand, school does not end after high school, or even college. Life is a school, those around you are the teachers, and you are the student. When you fail an Algebra test or make your parents angry, you have not failed in life. That is not the end. You know why? Because when you fall down, all you have to do is pick yourself up and start over again. But, don’t stop there. Find out what went wrong. Search for a solution. Ask questions. Do not fear labels and judgement, but rather, overcome them.


Since I have been away from home, getting ready for my year in Africa, I have been recovering from my many failures throughout my life. But what I have learned here that I had never discovered before is that all of my mistakes play a role in my future; my destiny.


There are two different roads I could have gone down after overcoming my failures:


1. I could have learned from my mistakes, and carried a chip on my shoulder for reaching my goals and improving myself. I could have scorned ignorance, mocked those behind me in life, laughed in the face of failure, and a result, stepped on those who were already down.


-OR-


2. I could have used my understanding of failure and loss to help others. I could have encouraged curiosity and learning, believed in others’ knowledge, and had faith in those who are searching for faith in themselves.

As I sit here now, in California, awaiting my time to leave for Senegal, I want you all to know that my time with Global Citizen Year has helped my pick the second option, without a doubt. And I also want all of you to know that every single one of you holds a strong place in my heart. You are a huge part of the reason that I am who I am today. I believe that each of you is capable of reaching your dreams. Keep your eyes on the things that matter. Never accept failure as defeat. You each inspire me in a unique way.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us…

- Marianne Williamson

Tattoos - Do?

I’m normally a pretty tame person. I don’t have any tattoos and outside of my ears, the only thing pierced is my belly button. And to be really honest, the only reason I did that was because my ex-boyfriend told me it’d make a whore. Seriously. Word for word what he said. So, in order to prove him wrong, I did it. We broke up. Thank goodness. And guess what!? It didn’t make me a whore…quite the opposite, actually.

I digress. My parents originally told my brother and me when we went to college that if we got tattoos, they wouldn’t pay for school. This was enough to scare the bejeesus out of us. Around my junior year, they recanted and said we could do whatever we wanted. Awesome! Landon went right out and got a very tasteful tattoo on his shoulder blade. It’s a cross with a dove that represents some of his favorite Bible verses. Good for him.

I, on the other hand, didn’t want to get anything that didn’t mean anything to me. I also wasn’t ever really sure where I would put said tattoo. This is a very important decision. If I put it anywhere on my torso, it would stretch out when I have kids. If I put it on my shoulders, it would show in my wedding dress. I was told that if you got it on your lower back, it messes with a possible epidural (not sure if this is true or not). So, I just decided not to get one for the time being.

Fast forward about seven years. I’m out at my favorite bar in Nashville – The Stage. They have the best in-house band on Saturday nights – The Lewis Copeland Band. The lead singer’s tattoo catches my eye. It’s hard to see in the picture below. It says “blessed” but the “b” and the “d” are treble clef music symbols. I loved it. Not only because it was different, but because it meant something personal. I didn’t really think anything else of it, but just that it was really creative.


Credit: here


I wasn’t about to run out and copy his tattoo or anything, I just liked it. It stuck in my head. I have a really hard time remembering how blessed I truly am. Even though my life isn’t perfect, I’m so dang lucky. I started thinking that maybe I would get a “blessed” tattoo on my left wrist. Not big or anything, but tasteful and something I could cover up with a watch if I wanted to. I liked the idea, but if I’m going to get something permanently put on my body, I’m going to love it.

I was at home a while later helping my mom unpack in the new house. My mom is like me. She has a TON. OF. STUFF. So much that I didn’t know she had most of it. Well, I was unpacking a box and came across this:

Seriously. It’s a little sign that says “Blessed” in an adorable font. I didn’t know my mom had this, but took it as a sign (pun intended) that if I were to get a tattoo, this is what it would look like. Simple, tasteful and meaningful…and easily hidden. Everything I wanted.

So, now I’m just being chicken. I don’t really like needles, but I love this idea. Now I’m asking you all – do you have any tattoos? What and where are they? Do you like them? Does it really hurt that bad? Do you regret getting it? I’m so very curious to hear your answers!

Breathless: Part 2

To read the beginning of the story, click HERE.

After senior prom, life continued. I had graduated and was off at college.  Chris was living/working in Indy. We didn’t really talk for any of my freshman & sophomore years. Then I turned 21 and had just recently broken up with the guy I had dated for over a year. I should take this time to mention that Chris and my “thing” is music. It goes back to the CDs he had made me in high school. For some reason, our music tastes just clicked. We knew all the same songs and had no problem belting them out in the car together. For as long as I can remember, we’ve had two songs: “At the Stars” by Better than Ezra (our favorite band) and “Ordinary World” by Duran Duran (don’t mock it…I love that song.)

Better than Ezra comes to Indy once a year at a 21+ venue and even though he’d gone before, I’d never been able to get in. Finally, we got to go to the concert together. It was amazing. Aside from all the other songs we loved, they played “At the Stars.” I don’t remember anything else about those moments except Chris & I slow dancing in the middle of a huge crowd. It was like no one else existed in the world.  That moment will be forever etched in my mind.

After that, he started coming up to Purdue to hang out with me during my junior & senior years. We’d go out to the bars and have a blast just goofing around with each other. We never needed anyone else around to have a great time I have about a million pictures of him & I being stupid on random occasions. Since we were both obsessed with the Colts football team, we’d play imaginary football. We’d take turns being Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison in the middle of the deserted streets of Purdue. Even though it was stupid and immature, it was innocent and fun...and some of the best times I had in college.

More to come...

Things Single People Eat

As I’ve already covered, I am no Martha Stewart. My mom had to come decorate my past two apartments because I just didn’t care to. I had all the stuff, I just didn’t want to physically put it on the walls. So my mom did it for me. Seriously. Everything would still be in boxes if it weren’t for her. I love her.

Anyway, back to Martha Stewart. That woman can cook. So can Pioneer Woman. I cannot.

Actually that’s not true. I can cook when I try. However, that takes a whole lot of effort. First, it involves grocery shopping. I’m not a fan of shopping in general and fighting the Wicker Park crowd at Jewel on any given week night doesn’t rank high on my to-do list.

Secondly, it’s time consuming. When I get home from work, all I want to do is lay down. Seriously. I want my brain to shut off. I usually give myself half an hour to let the dog out, lay around, take a power nap…whatever. The last thing I want to do is whip up a four course meal...or even put a pot on the stove.

Thirdly, I’m not the best at following directions. I own cookbooks…plenty of them. But to me, they’re more like guidelines. This does not work well the majority of the time…especially when baking. It’s a disaster, actually. Something that looks delicious and should be tasty comes out drastically different than planned. And I get mad. Not at myself…at the recipe…because it lied to me.

Finally, the grocery store does not make it easy to cook for one person. I’m not going to eat a pound of ground beef by myself. Nor am I going to eat an entire can of veggies. The list goes on and on. It’s frustrating and because I’m tired (see two paragraphs up), the last thing I want is to be frustrated while trying to cook dinner.

So, you’re probably wondering what I actually EAT for dinner? Well, let me tell you. This is a list of things I’ve had for dinner in the past month (not including all the times I’ve eaten dinner out):

- Cereal
- A smoothie (super yummy and filling…especially after running)
- Instant brown rice with a can of tuna a drizzle of olive oil and salt/pepper
- Cereal
- Couscous with tuna & edamame
- Easy Mac
- Cereal
- PB&J Sandwich
- A glass of water
- Cereal
- Yogurt with cereal & frozen berries mixed in
- Pasta

First off, don’t judge me.

Secondly, I should explain that dinner has never been my biggest meal of the day. I worked in hotels where they feed you all sorts of free food and then you don’t have to cook dinner. (Side note: unlimited free food WILL cause you to gain weight.) So, at my new, perfect job, they don’t feed us free food. And it makes me (and my waistline) happy.

At first, I had delusions of grandeur. “I’m going to bring my lunch every day! Sandwiches and salads are in my future!” This lasted for a week. I then discovered the amazingness that is frozen, single serving meals. Hello, Lean Cuisine & Smart Ones? I’m a fan. I love you. Just 5 or less minutes and I have a yummy, easy meal sitting in front of me. And I’m not over-eating! How did I not know this world existed!?

So there you go. That’s how this working, single girl eats.

It’s a wonder I’m still single…seriously.


PS. …pray for my future husband…I hope he likes cereal.

A Series of Bad Dates: Part Two

Back when I lived in Nashville and Jerk & I had just broken up, I lived in an apartment complex with my roommate, Jenna. Because I had to take Lex out a few times a day, I eventually got to know my neighbors. Jay, an older bachelor lived below us with his dog, Rocky. Next to him lived Eric. At 33, Eric was a bit older than me. But whatever, we were all just having a good time.


Somehow, we all started hanging out by the pool every weekend drinking beer and getting some sun. It was a great way to spend our weekends. Around the middle of the summer, Eric asked me out. For our first outing, we went to a Fishing Tournament. No joke. It was my first ride on a motorcycle and my first fishing tournament. To be fair, his best friend was competing and he hadn’t seen him in a long time.

We continued hanging out for another month, going to BBQs and out to Silverado’s on Saturday nights. Eventually, he asked if I wanted to go to a field party. Being from the suburbs, I had NO idea what a field party was. Turns out, it’s a party in a field. Complete with bonfire and a ridiculous amount of liquor. Eric had grown up in the area and had a lot of friends at the party. I, on the other hand, knew one other person. At some point during the night, I lost track of Eric. I wasn’t that into him anyway, so I didn’t really care. I had, however driven him there, so felt obligated to drive him back.

Well, he finally showed up about an hour later…totally hammered. This is a TOTAL turn-off for me. You’re an adult. Know your limit. Once we get in the car and start driving back, he starts word vomiting everywhere.

“Lindsay, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I can’t get a read on you. Half the time you want to hang out with me, half the time you don’t act like you care and half the time I don’t know what to think!”

Um, ok genius. Not possible to have 3 halves. I smartly kept quiet and just let him continue rambling on.

“I mean really, Lindsay. I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m a f*ck*ng catch! People want to be with me…girls…lots and lots of girls would KILL to be in your place.”

Hold up there, buddy. Did you actually just tell me you’re a “f*ck*ng catch?” Seriously? To me?

With all of my being I wanted to retort “What part of you is a ‘catch?’ The part where you smoke? Or that you live in an apartment at the age of 33? Or that you refuse to work hard to have anything in your life? Oh no, it’s the part where you get ridiculously drunk all the time, isn’t it? That has to be it.”

He ended up getting laid off a few weeks later and moved back to his hometown in Texas. Thank goodness.  My friends still love to tell this story, they think it’s hilarious…and it is. 

I’m thinking that if you have to tell someone you’re a catch…you’re probably not.

Breathless: Part 1

It’s funny how you meet some people in life. The majority of friends you meet in school or at church or somewhere random. I met one of my best friends when I was 15 working at an arcade in Fishers, Indiana. He was 17, tall, went to a rival high school and totally looks like a hotter version of Neil Patrick Harris. We actually dated for a few months back then. My favorite thing about him is that he used to make me great CDs. For instance, I’d had a really bad day and still had to work. He had his senior dinner to go to and we were smack in the middle of a huge ice storm. I didn’t expect to see him at all that day and was totally bummed out. Then, out of nowhere, he comes walking up with a rose and a CD for me. I knew I really liked him in that instant…plus, he had great taste in music…what was not to like? What I didn’t know was how significant he would be in my life.

We went on dates to the most random places. We celebrated my 16th birthday at a cheesy restaurant downtown where he kissed me for the first time in the elevator. We’d go to BW3’s and watch football. I’d go watch him and his friends play basketball in the neighboring town. He would always lose his keys and wallet...it was endearing. We’d joke around together at work and spent many summer nights hanging out on our trampoline just looking at the trees. Most importantly, he was there for me when my family life was falling apart.

We had a great few months, but like most teenage relationships – it ended. We were supposed to go to his senior prom together, but ended up breaking up before then. Of course there was drama surrounding it, but again, that’s to be expected when you’re a teenager. He graduated, went off to college and we kept in touch.

Fast forward a few years and I am a senior in high school. I wanted to go to my senior prom with someone important and couldn’t think of a better person than Chris. We’d remained really good friends throughout the past few years. There are great pictures of this event…and most of them involve me looking like I Dream of Genie. (Note to all high-schoolers: DO NOT DESIGN YOUR OWN PROM DRESS. I look at it now and wonder how anyone let me out in public like that.)  Prom was an interesting night, but I'm so glad I chose to go with Chris.



To be continued…

"Gettin' Married"

One of the commenters from my "Planning" post directed me to this video.  It's so perfect :) 

**If you are a gettin' married or havin' babies...please do not take offense.  Sometimes single girls feel this way and it has nothing to do with you :) **

Home

This past weekend I was able to head down South and visit my friends in Nashville. It’s always so good to see them. I can’t believe a few months have already passed since they came up here to visit. Time really flies. I hadn’t seen Babykins since the middle of May. Poor thing barely recognized me. Only after I spent two days with him did he finally not immediately start crying when he saw me! I guess that’s what you get when you move 600 miles away.


After a great flight (my row was the life of the party on Southwest!), I got to spend Friday night with the girls having a fabulous dinner at La Paz and ice cream at Sweet CiCis. So yummy. Then I went back to Stacia’s to “help” her bake a cake (she does it professionally). By “help” I mean, sit there, play DJ and look at things online. I’m not allowed to touch anything. It makes sense if you’ve ever seen me bake (which you probably haven’t, because I don’t…for good reason.)

The next morning, after running around their neighborhood in the blazing heat (um, hello Nashville? It’s FALL. Get the memo.), I had a delicious chocolate croissant, got ready and headed to Jen’s. I had grand plans for going out…but it turned into movie night with a few beers. I was exhausted. Jen & I got to have lunch with Carrie - a former co-worker - at Cheesecake Factory and did a little retail therapy in the Green Hills area. Sunday night Jen & Matt made yummy fajitas, Charlie & Stacia came over and we watched a movie (Date Night = hilarious!). It was good just to have time to catch up. I watched Babykins on Monday. We went to the park to run around in the 90 degree heat. Seriously, Nashville…summer has ended! By the time he woke up from his nap, it was time for me to head to the airport. Sort of sad, but I got a lot of cute pictures of him over the weekend…and none of anything else. So not cool.

As much fun as I had this weekend, I was actually ready to get back to Chicago. For months, I’ve been referring to Nashville as “home.” It still seemed that a lot of my life was there and I was just trying Chicago on for size. I was talking to my mom on the way to the airport when she asked if I was ready to leave. She fully expected me to say “no” and start bawling because I had to leave my friends. I surprised her, and myself, when I said “Yeah, I’m ready to get back home.” Neither of us saw it coming.

It was great to see my friends. I hate that I don’t get to do so more often. Yes, it makes me sad that I don’t get to be Babykin’s primary babysitter anymore and it hurts that he doesn’t recognize me. Yep, it absolutely sucks that I don’t get to hang out with Jen, Matt, Stacia, Charlie, Rebecca, Carrie and everyone else all the time. I gave up a life in Nashville with the hopes of a better one in Chicago. While it will be hard to top the amazing friends I made there, this life - my Chicago life - is perfect for me at this point. I’m sure I’ll go through many ups and downs just like I did in Nashville, but this is where I know I’m meant to be. As I curled up in my messy, hot room last night, I was just happy to finally be home.

Up To Speed...

First off, if you don’t already read Amy’s blog…go over there right now and do so! She and her husband are absolutely adorable. I love that she always tells the truth about their struggle with infertility and yet, she still stays positive, sees that God is in control and has a plan....even though it's not easy.  To be honest, I love seeing her posts on my Google Reader every morning. The other day, she had a great post encouraging people to share their stories of their “click” moment. Go HERE right now and read it. It’s amazing how many people are struggling with the same things (singleness, infertility, job issues, etc) and it’s great to see that while we may not have all the answers, God does. And that is OK.

So, being the blog stalker I am…I participated. I figured there has GOT to be more amazing, single girls out there struggling with God’s timing. And what do you know…there are! And they even commented! This is amazing to me. So, if you are new to my blog, welcome!!  Now please allow me to give you a very quick tour of my life.

This is me:



 This is my family:



We don’t normally dress like this. It was my cousin’s wedding…where I was a bridesmaid. Shocking.



I grew up here:

(Glamorous, is it not?)

After surviving high school, I went off to college here:


(Go BOILERS!)



Finally, after four awesome fun-filled years, they gave me a degree and kicked me out. So, I picked up and moved here:

This was not in my plan, but the job was too perfect to pass up. I worked for an amazing company that has a hotel resembling this:

I started dating a guy we call “Jerk” within two weeks of settling in. We continued dating for almost two years….until I realized that it wasn’t working and he was, in fact, a jerk. During this time, I didn’t really have any friends at work or in my life at all. It was a dark, dark period in my life. There are a few blog posts on this if you go back in the short history of my blog. So, back to the story, we broke up. Yay!

The only good thing that came out of that crappy relationship was this:

This is Lexie – she’s my little Morkie puppy. She weighs 8lbs and has entirely too much personality for her own good. But she’s adorable, so I put up with it.

All of a sudden, things started falling into place for me. I started liking my job and then met these people at work:

You can read all about these ladies HERE. They are my “people.” They put me back together again and became my family in the South. One of them even made me an Aunt for the first time. I love her for that.

So by this point, my life was cruising along fairly well. I had a bunch of great friends, a decent job and didn’t really need anything else. Then it hit me: I should start dating. It didn’t go well. You can read about that HERE.

Eventually, I realized that while I had grown to love the South and all the people there, it wasn’t where I was meant to stay. So, I prayed about it and started searching for any job possible. Lo and behold, God provided. And I cried. It was a good thing. You can read about it HERE.

After some drama, I moved here:

I worked for a crappy company for 6 months before landing my dream job downtown. You can read about that HERE.

So, that catches the newbies up on my life. Again, this is NOT where I thought I’d be when I mapped out my life. But, it’s the perfect place for me. I can’t imagine my life being much better. We’ll see though…God always has something in store.

My Life...on another blog

I found an amazing blog post that perfectly describes my life...with pictures, no less.  The hysterical Allie at Hyperbole & a Half makes perfect light of my lack of responsibility.  Whenever I have a bad day, this is where I go to laugh. 

Here's my favorite post:  This is Why I'll Never Be An Adult.  Seriously one of the best blog posts I've seen in a while!  She's a definite favorite in my Google reader :)

Weekend Update

This past weekend was interesting. Friday night, I packed up Lex and headed out to the suburbs to hang out with Ann, Jaime, Harper & Ann’s mom, Mary. It was nice to have a low key, pizza & wine fueled evening. We just hung around and talked. Lex and Haper barked up a storm – they LOVE each other. Unfortunately, we didn’t sleep too much because the dogs kept us up the whole night, but that was alright.


Saturday morning, we lounged around for a while and worked on some wedding stuff. I can’t believe it’s coming up so soon! Ann has so many creative ideas and I can’t wait to see them all in one place at one time! It’s going to be beautiful. It’s been a rough road for her, so I know she’s excited to just get married, go on a much needed vacation and get away from all the drama. She definitely deserves it at this point!

I eventually rolled back into town and headed over to Jason’s. Things between us have been rough lately…and it’s mostly been my doing. I have a lot of stuff going on with my family right now and I’ve needed to deal with that in my own way. Unfortunately, this made me push Jason away and left him hurt and confused. After doing a lot of soul searching, I realized that I didn’t see myself marrying him for several reasons. The reasons were my own and not everyone understands them, but to me, they are valid. At this point, I had two options: I could go on ignoring that fact, or be upfront and honest with him. I chose the second. Jason sometimes reads this, so I’m not going to go over all the details out of respect for him. I’ll just say that he is a great guy…definitely the best I’ve dated. We had a great time together and there are so many things I like about him. But the cold, hard reality was that I couldn’t lead him on in false hope. I hope he knows that I didn’t go into this planning on hurting him and I’m SO sorry that it had to end this way. I really do hope that he and I can remain friends, but I understand that he’s not ready (or may not ever be ready) for that.

That kind of put a damper on my Saturday because no one likes to have those conversations. I called Megan (Jason’s best friend’s wife and my close friend) on the way home because I wanted her to hear what happened from me. As always, she was amazing and having been in a similar situation, she totally understood. Thank God for great friends.

I eventually put on my running shoes and went to relieve some stress. I hadn’t run the entire week so it was good to get back into it (I signed up for a 5k in less than a month!). It’s amazing how that will totally clear your head…it felt so good.

That night, my roommate and I went out. Amanda & I have lived together since July and hadn’t ever been in the same city over the weekends. This weekend, by all miracles, we were both in Chicago…and I needed to go OUT. So out we went! We hit up a couple Wicker Park/Bucktown bars…and it was a BLAST. I met some people from Indiana and had a great time meeting new people. It was a great way to take my mind off of everything. I have absolutely no clue what time we got home, but puppy & I fell into bed and didn’t wake up until 10am.

I stayed in my pajamas until at least five and then went to the grocery store. Coincidentally, ALL of the hot men in Wicker Park hang out at the Jewel on Sunday nights. Seriously…what is the deal with that!? I did run into my cousin and his girlfriend though. I love that I live in a place where that’s actually possible! I wrapped up the weekend with another run (Amanda came with me, too) and some episodes of How I Met Your Mother.

This week is getting busier by the second. I’m going to see Billy Elliot on Wednesday with Caitlin (Ben’s girlfriend) and am THRILLED at that! Then on Friday, I leave for N.A.S.H.V.I.L.L.E! Holy crap, I’m SO excited to see my friends and of course, Babykins!!

“After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away” ~Carrie Bradshaw

25 Things

**I did one of these a while back on Facebook.  That one was pretty lame. 

This one is slightly less lame.**

1. When I have more than two drinks, my Southern accent comes out. I have no control over this, but people in Chicago think it’s hilarious.


2. I can hear a song one time and sing it back to you. Memorizing lyrics is my talent

3. I can still do the splits, reach 8 inches past my toes and touch my head to my feet…backwards. That’s what 10 years of gymnastics will do to you. These also make for great bar tricks.

4. I absolutely suck at team sports. Anyone who’s seen me play kickball can attest to this.

5. I talk to my dog. Sometimes, she answers me.

6. I speed read. Due to this, I’ve actually read the same book twice without realizing it until later.

7. People in Tennessee call me a Yankee because I'm from Indiana, but people from Chicago call me a southerner because I'm from Indiana.

8. I'm terrified of a lot of Disney movies. The main ones are Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Pinocchio, Lady & the Tramp, and Bambi. For some reason I have horrible memories of these movies and absolutely refuse to watch them.

9. I still have bad dreams about the “Kiddy-Napper” from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. That guy scared the crap out of me as a kid, but I still love the movie.

10. My Google Reader is full of wedding photographers and Mom’s of Multiples Blogs. I don’t know why I find both of those so fascinating.

11. I have recently learned that I cannot and should not dance in public. People can take pictures of it…and it’s not pretty.

12. I'm obsessed with music. Any kind: Broadway, Country, Pop, 80s, Classic Rock, ect. When I hear a song, it takes me back to the place I first heard it. I always have music on and usually sing in the shower & the car. 

13. I hate shopping for clothes. I love shopping for shoes and home décor.

14. I’m happiest when I’m near water. Any type: Ocean, Lake, Swimming pool…whatever.

15. I’m a big believer in going with your gut. It’s nearly impossible for me to ignore mine.

16. I love my huge family. My little cousins are adorable – all 23 of them. It is so much fun to watch them grow up.

17. I took piano lessons for 10 years and can absolutely not play anything. I desperately wish my parents wouldn’t have let me quit.

18. The only living thing allowed in my apartment (besides me & my roommate) is my dog. Plants don’t stand a chance with me. It’s a disaster.

19. Sometimes, my favorite thing to do is nothing. I love just laying around the house in my PJs and snuggling with Lexie.

20. I love DVR. I hate commercials. Currently, I’m addicted to: Glee, How I Met Your Mother, Modern Family, Law & Order SVU, & Brother’s & Sisters.

21. Caffeine makes me go insane. I’m not allowed to have iced coffee and be around people…I literally bounce.

22. I refuse to settle…for anything.

23. I thought I’d get married at 25 – I’m rapidly approaching 27 and am shockingly ok with the fact that I’m nowhere near being married.

24. I didn’t drink beer all throughout college. I do now…and love it.

25. It’s really hard to think of 25 things…plus, I’m at work…I should probably go get some work done :)

Planning - It's What I Do.

Isn’t it funny how life never turns out the way you expect it to? In high school, I thought I’d graduate college, move to Chicago, meet the man of my dreams right away and get married at 25. Then naturally, after two years, I’d have kids, quit my job and stay home with them to be the ultimate homemaker. Sounds pretty perfect, right?


Insert sarcastic laughs here.

Obviously, my life has turned out nothing like I thought it would. I moved to Nashville after college – a place that wasn’t even on my list of places to move. I did a job that I wasn’t crazy about for more than three years. I did meet a guy right away – but unfortunately, it wasn’t the right one. Since I’m rapidly approaching 27, I clearly didn’t get married at 25…and I’m not anywhere close to getting married. I don’t have kids and Martha Stewart would be embarrassed by my homemaking.

To be honest, when I compare the difference of where I thought I would be and where I actually am, it makes me a little depressed. But then, I look back at the past four years and think of what I would have missed if my life had gone according to MY plan. I never would have lived in the South…which means I wouldn’t have met Jen & Stacia – who are now more like sisters than friends. I wouldn’t be “Aunt Linny” to an adorable Babykins. I wouldn’t have learned to stand on my own two feet. I never would have learned my limits with relationships and wouldn’t be able to see the beauty in starting over. I wouldn’t have my perfect puppy, or the job experience I needed to get where I am. And most importantly, I wouldn’t have learned how to forgive or about God’s never-ending grace.

So, while it can be disheartening to compare my life to MY plan…it’s the opposite when I compare it to God’s plan. I needed to take a detour to see how amazing my life really is. As much as I love to plan things (um, I do it for a living!), my plans pale in comparison to His.

God’s plan for my life is perfect. Mine is not. End of story.

He knows who I’ll marry and at what time…and when it’s right, it will be right. He knows where we’ll live, how many kids we’ll be blessed with and what kind of life we’ll lead. Once I started realizing this, it became so much easier to be happy with where I am in life. My life is never going to be perfect – but it’s through the imperfections that I learn more about myself, God and grace. I think that’s a pretty good trade-off…

“The struggles make us stronger and the changes make us wise.

Happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time.

Life ain’t always beautiful, but it’s a beautiful ride.”

~ Gary Allan

Sarah's Toast...

~Since this is a scrapbook of my life (which looks like swiss cheese right now b/c I've been neglecting it), I wanted to remember the toast I gave my cousin, Sarah, at her wedding.  Since I couldn't make it to the real wedding in Chile, I got to give mine at the rewedding in Chicago with our whole family there. As much as I hate having all eyes on me, it was so fun to get up there and talk about my cousin! I'll be doing a full post of all sorts of fun pictures from the wedding and an update on what's going on with life soon...I promise. ~

"For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Sarah’s cousin, Lindsay. Sarah originally asked me to say a few words at the wedding in Chile, but due to a seriously untimely move and even more untimely earthquake, I couldn’t be there for that wedding. So, words cannot describe how thrilled I am to have everyone here to celebrate my amazing cousin and her new husband.

I’m sure most of you know or have met my little brother, Landon. Unfortunately, my parents (along with Sarah’s) didn’t get the memo that the minimum amount of children in the Erwin/Schoenherr clan is 4. So Sarah and I both grew up with one brother each. While brothers are great…they’re not sisters. They don’t like playing dress-up with you, will run and scream when you try to do their make-up and generally, point and laugh when your uncle throws you in the seaweed at camp. However, I don’t feel like I missed out on having a sister at all…because I had Sarah.

Being exactly 7 months apart in age, we did a lot of fun things growing up together. Aside from playing the Barbie game with our aunts, our favorite pastime was playing dress-up. Both of our dress-up closets were quite extensive…full of old bridesmaid dresses, flower girl dresses and random costumes. Out of ALL of those outfits…one always stood out. The famed wedding dress. Sarah and I LOVED to play “bride.” I have vivid memories of us running around my old house having very serious arguments about who was going to marry Maccaulley Culkin or Jordan Knight (the cutest New Kid on the Block, obviously.) For the record, I’m pretty sure that both us, and our parents, are glad that neither of us married MacCaulley Culkin. But now, here we are, years later, and Sarah gets to play “Bride” one last time…and this time it’s for real. Tomorrow, she’ll recommit to Pipe to be his bride forever.

I have to admit that when Sarah initially told me she was dating someone from Chile, I was skeptical. Then, she brought Pipe to the lake. For those of you not in our family, this is the ultimate test of a dating relationship. The time at the lake will tell you everything you need to know about the person in question. Our family is massive, as I’m sure you’ve noticed today. With 26 kids running around at all times, it’s a ton of fun. But it’s also pure chaos. If you haven’t grown up with this, it can be hard to handle. Lesser men and women have crumbled under the serious pressure. Added to this was the fact that Pipe spoke very little English at the time. To all of our amazement, Pipe didn’t flinch the entire weekend. There were kids jumping all over him, people all around speaking a language he didn’t understand, and a “graduation” ceremony for Landon & Sarah done in traditional family style. Pipe did not bat an eye at the entire event... He was even a favorite to throw the little ones around in the water…a huge honor in the Erwin/Schoenherr family. At the end of that weekend, all of my questions were answered…I knew they’d end up getting married. And here we are, three years later. They make it work every day and despite the unique challenges their relationship presents, they make it look easy and effortless.

I’ll wrap up with this: In college, I was having a really hard time with a relationship. Of course, I was talking back and forth with Sarah and she said something that has stayed with me almost 8 years later. You said to me “Lindsay, someday some guy will look at you and say ‘I see Christ in her’ and THAT’S what will attract him to you.” Sarah, I know without a doubt that Pipe looked at you in your first class in Chile and saw Christ in you, because it’s simply impossible not to. You radiate love, acceptance and of course, joy. You are the closest thing to a sister that I will ever have and for that, I am so blessed. You’ve been there for me in all stages of life…in good times and in bad. I absolutely could not be happier for you and Pipe to have found each other and get continue your life together. I pray that you’ll be blessed beyond measure and will always look to each other for love, comfort and laughs. From what I’ve seen of the two of you in the past few years, this will be no problem at all. I wish you all the best, because you both deserve it."

And a look at what's to come....