After the wedding, I remember looking at the pictures and sensing that something was off. She had always been a great performer and having known her for more than 10 years, I could just tell she was putting on a show at their wedding. It made me sad to see him looking happy and her clearly faking it. I secretly wondered what the future held for them.
I knew how she felt about me (for no good reason, I assure you) and respected the fact that they were married now. I’d hear from Chris about every other month and eventually realized that they were moving back to Indy, where we’re all from. Chris was going back to school (a very good thing) and she had gotten a great new job in the area. Things seemed to be going well for them and because I cared about him, I was happy for them.
Another month or so goes by and I get an email asking if we can talk that night. I could tell by the tone of the email that something was wrong. He called me later that night and pretty much laid everything out on the table. They’d been having problems before they got married and even though he wanted to, they didn’t slow down and deal with things at the time. He wanted to know how long I’d known that it probably wouldn’t work out. Of course I didn’t answer him, but since the moment they started dating, I wasn’t in huge favor of it because I knew them both so well.
They were still making up their mind as to what to do in regards to their marriage…and being the smart person that I am, I kept out of it. I didn’t want any of it to come back to me. I let him know that no matter what he decided, I would support him and be there for him in the end. But, in order to protect me (and him, too), I couldn’t be involved. He totally agreed and just needed an opinion from someone who knew them both.
A short time later, they separated and filed for divorce. We talked a bit about everything going on. I was four months into my final break-up with Jerk, so I kind of understood where he was with things. He was so devastated at the whole thing. He thought they were happy, but she was really putting on a show the whole time. Only after the wedding did the real person step out from behind the curtain. It wasn’t pretty. Chris is one of the most giving people I know. He will let people walk all over him (sadly, I was one of them once) because he wants them to be happy, but in the meantime, he is losing himself.
I asked him once if they ever went to pre-marital counseling. They thought that counseling was only if you were having issues later in the marriage. I know he desperately wishes they would have been smarter about it. It broke my heart to see how hurt and upset he was. Especially since I couldn't do anything at all to make him feel better.
...more next time...
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