Jen is 27 years old. She is from Vardaman, Mississippi...the sweet potato capitol of the world. No joke. Jen married Matt (who is too hilarious) when she was 21 (he was 23) years old. They now live in a wonderful house in Mt. Juliet. About 10 months ago, they produced a little Babykins (my nickname for him). Babykins is the cutest baby ever and I adore being his Aunt Linny and hope to soon spoil him beyond belief.
Jen & Matt - NYE '08
Babykins in all his adorable-ness.
Stacia just turned 29. She is married to a wonderful engineer - Charlie. They got Maui-ed in Hawaii and have some of the most beautiful wedding pictures I've ever seen. They bought a gorgeous townhouse in Pleasant View (this house has like 8 sets of stairs...seriously) that is about five minutes away from her amazing mom. Stacia just recently quit working in order to deveop plans to open her own bakery right next to their house. She is an AMAZING baker and I expect to get lots of free macaroons in the near future.
Staca & Charlie got Maui-ed :)
Anyway, the reason I tell you all that is to tell you this story. I moved to Tennessee for my job and I was thrilled beyond belief. It was my first job out of college and my first chance to live alone. I moved down here, started my job on a Tuesday and the next Monday, I met my boyfriend. I never looked back. I spent the next two years wrapped up in him and never allowed myself the chance to have a life outside of our relationship.
Fast forward two years (and yet more drama I'll get to eventually). The ex (J) & I had a very messy break-up. I had to start over again from scratch. Literally. I was in a job that I didn't want, with people I didn't want to work with. Unfortunately, the feeling was mutual. I was hated (and they'll tell you that too) by everyone in my department and I was horribly depressed. I had no social life and was going from bed to work to bed every day. I had an amazing roommate (Jenna) from college that kept me from being a total hermit.
Then, Jen got transferred into my department. I had no clue who she was, but the more I sat in meetings with her (we go to a lot of meetings), the more I wanted to know her. We had the same sense of humor and seem to have the same temperment. Eventually, we were hanging out outside of work and I got the chance to get to know her husband, Matt. I eventually got to know her Mom, Dad & sister and they were equally as wonderful. They made me feel at home and I was so grateful to have someone to talk to.
A few months later, Stacia got promoted into our department as well. Soon enough, we were all three friends. We would have girls nights or we'd all go out to dinner, husbands included. When I hang out with all of them, I never feel like the fifth wheel. Their husbands are amazing and I'm blessed to know them as well. For the first time in a long time, I found myself laughing so hard my stomach hurt. I was able to go out after work and not feel completely exhausted. The past two years have been a rollercoaster for the three of us individually; Jen called us when she found out she was pregnant, Jen & I were there while Stacia went through the most horrible thing she'll ever have to deal with and we would commiserate about the crazy clients we had to deal with.
I fully credit them with bringing me back to life. They were patient, kind and honest with me. Just recently, I went on a horrible date (more on that at a later date...pun intended). I was telling them about it the next day and Jen pointed something out to me. "Two years ago, Lindsay would have gone out with bad-date-boy quite a bit longer because she wouldn't have been true to her feelings." Wow. I almost cried because she was so right. I've come so far in the past two years...and I owe the majority of it to these two ladies (and their husbands and babykins.) They make me laugh, they talk in strange voices to me, they invite me over for family meals or to watch crappy TV. I would be utterly lost in Nashville without them.
Linny, Stacia & Jen NYE '08
So, that brings up dinner tonight. Stacia and I grabbed some yummy dinner at the 1808 Grille at the Hutton Hotel where Pioneer Woman stayed! Jen, unfortunately, couldn't join us because Babykins has a nasty case of the Chicken Pox. Stacia was asking me how my job-hunt in Chicago was going. She's notorious for sending me random jobs in Nashville in order to get me to stay. Jen does the same. They've both been very vocal about not wanting me to go. I posed the question to Stacia, "What is here for me?" Her answer? "Me, Charlie, Jen, Matt & Babykins." This got me thinking. Are they enough to keep me here?
The thought of leaving all of them and starting fresh somewhere I fit in flat-out kills me. They are part of who I am. They are my family here...literally. But at the same time, they all have their own lives...their own families, kids and other friends. Is it fair for me to stay here for them? I'm so torn because I start crying when I think about missing Babykin's first birthday or the opening of Stacia's bakery. But at the same time, if I take them out of the equation...I have nothing but a job holding me in Tennessee. I know that I deserve to be as happy as they are in their marriages and lives...I think I'm just scared to actually go after it.
So, for now, I'm applying to every job I'm remotely qualified for in Chicago (and some in Indy). I know that no matter what, the three of us will still be friends. I'll still be Aunt Linny, will still be able to talk to Stacia in stupid voices and come up with stupid nicknames for people in the office. And I think they understand that too. At this point, it's up to God...and I'm ok with that. He knows better than the three of us.
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