Breathless: Part 3

Make sure to catch up on Part 1 and Part 2!

Shortly before Valentine’s Day of my senior year, my roommate was asking me my plans for the big night. When I asked why, she spilled the beans that Chris wanted to come up to take me out as a surprise. For whatever reason, I ended up going home the weekend before Valentine’s Day. I called him a few times to let him know that we should hang out and then a few more to tell him something funny…but he never picked up.

When I got back to school, I still hadn’t heard from him and had the ominous “punched in the stomach feeling.” Well, a little Facebook stalking confirmed that he had actually been AT Purdue…with one of my former best friends. I was shell-shocked. He and I had a very firm NO DATING FRIENDS policy because we knew it wouldn't work well for us.  I didn’t hear from him at all for almost a month. He ended up coming to take her out for Valentine’s Day instead of me.

I was absolutely crushed.

Finally, my former friend decided to talk to me about it…over IM. So awesome of her. She said that she wanted my “blessing” before they continued dating. I told her in no-uncertain terms that if they wanted to continue dating, I wouldn’t stop them…but I wouldn’t be in the picture either. It wasn’t handled well, but the very long conversation ended with me telling her that he’s a great guy and he deserves to be happy, so take care of him.

At the same time this was going on, I was LOSING.MY.MIND in another conversation with Chris. I was literally throwing the book at him. I was so hurt and ticked at how he’d handled things that I threw out insults like a child. Because we had so much history, I knew what would hurt him the most…and I wasn’t afraid to use it. It wasn’t fair of me and I was saying things out of anger even though they were the exact opposite of what I actually thought.

The end result of those conversations was that they continued dating and I stepped out of the picture. He and I had ruined other relationships together and if this was really what he wanted, I had to let him go after it. After having him in my life for six years, it was really hard to move on without him. I was devastated and I missed him like I never could have imagined. It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. Eventually, after a lot of tears, torn-up letters and talks with friends, I was able to accept reality and move on with my life.

More later....

Why I Suck At Blogging This Week

Let me tell you why I suck at blogging this week. First off, this whole “work” thing really gets in the way of a lot of things. Seriously. I walked in Monday expecting it to be a pretty easy week. My clients clearly sensed this and started pouring stuff on! Boo on that. See my desk? Yeah, neither do I. Boo. 


Pardon the crappy cell phone picture


Second, this gorgeous girl is taking up a lot of my time:

This is Ann. I met her when I was just a little college freshman. We were shoved together in a TINY dorm room for an entire year. We both chose to go pot-luck for our freshman year and I think we still tell people this is the BEST decision we ever made. Seriously.

What are the odds that two people from two different states both have backgrounds in gymnastics and diving? Pretty slim, but somehow we ended up together. We had some awesome times in that dorm room. We’d go to Tark-mart (dorm convenience store) and get the following: half gallon of milk, roll of cookie dough, pink Laffy Taffy, Nerd Ropes, plain M&Ms and peanut butter. Seriously…at least once a week we’d eat all that. It’s a wonder we didn’t weigh 800 lbs.


Ann & I


Even though we only lived together for one year, it was enough. There are very few people who I can email when I’m having a “sad day” and they’ll know exactly what to say. Ann is the best person for this. I’ve never had someone who just understood where I was coming from. She can take my jumbled up rambling and put it into perfect perspective for me. She’s not afraid of telling me to grow up or that I’m being a moron. I love that about her.

At the same time, she’s also one of my biggest cheerleaders. She was there for me when Jerk & I broke up and promised me that even though I could barely get through a day, that I would be better off on the other side. She knows all about my family drama and will just listen to me talk about it all. She doesn’t try to fix it or tell me what to do. She just listens.

celebrating 25 years of Ann!

To say she’s one of my favorite people would be a gross understatement. I’ve watched her go through some really hard things during and after college. I flew up to Chicago to celebrate her 25th birthday and then again when we both had puppies so they could meet. I love that she’s back in school chasing after something that she truly loves – interior design. She’s so creative, smart and funny. This girl can make me laugh like no one else. Whether telling me how she’s going to hurl while introducing herself to watching her dance after a few too many drinks, she cracks me up. I’m so glad that we now live in the same city. We get to hang out with our puppies (who are best friends, btw), go get mani/pedis, and have slumber parties just like freshman year (minus all most of the junk food).



Head-banging with her brother  - seriously


So, back to why Ann is stealing all my time this week/weekend. Because SHE’S GETTING MARRIED!!!! YAY! She has a wonderful fiancé, Mike, and on Saturday, they will (finally) be married! This wedding has put a lot of stress on her. Between wedding stuff, a bunch of stupid drama, a full time job AND school, the poor girl has been run ragged. I’m excited that she finally gets to wear her gorgeous dress, Christian Loubiton shoes and go on her honeymoon because, well, she deserves it!

Ann & Mike - Almost married!

I’m lucky enough to be a bridesmaid and cannot wait to stand up there for her! Though my to-do list pales in comparison to hers, being a bridesmaid is some serious business. Especially a single bridesmaid. I’ve got nails, toes, spray tan, hair and all that fun stuff to get done. The dresses are adorable and one of the few that can actually be worn again! Thank you J. Crew! Plus, my shoes....are awesome.  Not as amazing as Ann's, but I'm pumped about getting to wear them!



The Bride & her Maids!



Ann, I know you read this, so let me just say this: I am so excited for you! I’m so glad that you’ve finally found a great guy who understands you. You both deserve nothing but the best and I know it’ll come to you. Thank you for being an amazing friend for the past nine years (holy crap, we’re old). Thanks for the constant back and forth emails, Google chats and phone calls over everything and nothing all at once. Who would have thought my pot-luck freshman year roommate would be one of my best friends almost ten years later? I’m so glad we were stuck together on that awful floor in the crappy dorm. My life would not be the same without you. You are truly one of my favorite people and I can’t wait to celebrate your happiness this weekend! Love you!

Sarah's ReWedding...

…And here's the promised post on Sarah's rewedding.  For those of you who are lost.  my younger cousin (mentioned HERE) married a Chilean - the orginal wedding was in Chile in March, but because our family couldn't all be there, we celebrated their "reWedding" over Labor Day weekend.

Saturday, we had the rehearsal and then the rehearsal dinner was a Chilean BBQ. There were almost 100 people at the dinner…including ALL of our cousins and even some second &third cousins! It was perfect weather and it was so good to catch up with all my Aunts & Uncles as well as run around with the kiddos. Unfortunately, I was so busy playing tag/wrestling little kids that I didn't take any pictures.

Sunday morning, Sarah, her mother-in-law & I went to get our hair and make-up done. It was really fun to see Sarah interact with her MIL and so fascinating to watch her translate back and forth…her mind is so quick!

 

Then it was off to the church to finish getting ready and start taking pictures. My mom directed the portrait portion of the evening – such a GREAT idea having someone bark out those orders…mom did a great job at it. Goodness knows it’s not easy to corral 60+ family members.

Even though they had a “real” wedding in Chile and this was just a recommitment ceremony, they still had bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids & flower girls. It was so cute to see the little girls walk down the aisle!  There were so many of them!

Finally, after the ceremony – it was time to party. Our family may be pretty tame, but we LOVE a good party! They had made the traditional Chilean drink Pisco Sours. They had a cousin’s dance after the first dance and then EVERYONE was on the dance floor for the next 3 hours…even the little kids kept it going until midnight!

The WHOLE family!  By far my favorite picture from the whole thing :)

Seriously, one of the best times I’ve had with our family in recent years! Now for the onslaught of pictures….



Adorable Flower Girls & Junior Bridesmaid



 

Sarah with three of the flower girls (there were 6 total!)



Left:  My great-grandma...99 and STILL driving every day.  Also, drinks a beer every day.  She's my inspiration.

Right:  My grandma - if you have some spare prayers, we'd appreciate them!  This was right before we found out she has acute leukemia.  It's been a rough month

Weird little cousins.  I <3 them :)

Toast time (geez, bad posture much??) & my only older cousin, Ben

If you think I won't use the above pictures against my little cousins, you are dead wrong.

  

The fam



I <3 my momma.  And the right picture explains why I'm so odd - clearly got it from my parents :)

Thoughts from Africa

I don't have a biological sister.  Neither does my mom.  However, my mom has her best friend .  Her real name is Karen, but Landon &I have always called her Bunny.  We're not really sure why, but we're the only ones who call her that.  Kind of odd now that I'm typing it out.

At any rate, Bunny has three beautiful children.  JT and Michael are great kids...they're smart, funny and I know they love having Landon around to look up to.  Erin is the middle child.  My mom is her God-Mother...which makes me her God-Sister.  For a long time, we've called each other "sis"...especially in recent years.  Since I've been away for eight years, I haven't gotten to spend near the amount of time i wanted to with her. 

I've always worried about her because I wasn't sure she had an entirely clear view of how the world works and seemed to think that she was entitled to whatever she wants.  She is a beautiful person, inside and out.  She has done ballet all her life and is exquisitely talented. Even though I wasn't always around,  I tried to spend time with her when I could and be a positive influence in her life, because she needed one.

Well, after graduating, she decided that college wasn't in the cards yet.  Instead, she was accepted into Global Citizens Year.  Currently, she's in Senegal, Africa for a year.  She has a blog that she's writing while away.  Below is the latest entry she wrote to the classroom that she student taught just before leaving.  It really inspired me...especially the bolded part.  So proud of her!



I want to let you in on a secret.

Perfection is not possible. Age is not always an accurate measure of potential or inner strength. And sometimes, failure IS the only option in becoming stronger.


For a year, I worked under Mrs. Jackson as your Student Teacher. Although I was seen as a teacher by all of you, to many people, I was still a student. Just because I was always teaching you about rules and structure did not mean that I wasn’t still learning about rules and structure as well. I want you to understand, school does not end after high school, or even college. Life is a school, those around you are the teachers, and you are the student. When you fail an Algebra test or make your parents angry, you have not failed in life. That is not the end. You know why? Because when you fall down, all you have to do is pick yourself up and start over again. But, don’t stop there. Find out what went wrong. Search for a solution. Ask questions. Do not fear labels and judgement, but rather, overcome them.


Since I have been away from home, getting ready for my year in Africa, I have been recovering from my many failures throughout my life. But what I have learned here that I had never discovered before is that all of my mistakes play a role in my future; my destiny.


There are two different roads I could have gone down after overcoming my failures:


1. I could have learned from my mistakes, and carried a chip on my shoulder for reaching my goals and improving myself. I could have scorned ignorance, mocked those behind me in life, laughed in the face of failure, and a result, stepped on those who were already down.


-OR-


2. I could have used my understanding of failure and loss to help others. I could have encouraged curiosity and learning, believed in others’ knowledge, and had faith in those who are searching for faith in themselves.

As I sit here now, in California, awaiting my time to leave for Senegal, I want you all to know that my time with Global Citizen Year has helped my pick the second option, without a doubt. And I also want all of you to know that every single one of you holds a strong place in my heart. You are a huge part of the reason that I am who I am today. I believe that each of you is capable of reaching your dreams. Keep your eyes on the things that matter. Never accept failure as defeat. You each inspire me in a unique way.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us…

- Marianne Williamson

Tattoos - Do?

I’m normally a pretty tame person. I don’t have any tattoos and outside of my ears, the only thing pierced is my belly button. And to be really honest, the only reason I did that was because my ex-boyfriend told me it’d make a whore. Seriously. Word for word what he said. So, in order to prove him wrong, I did it. We broke up. Thank goodness. And guess what!? It didn’t make me a whore…quite the opposite, actually.

I digress. My parents originally told my brother and me when we went to college that if we got tattoos, they wouldn’t pay for school. This was enough to scare the bejeesus out of us. Around my junior year, they recanted and said we could do whatever we wanted. Awesome! Landon went right out and got a very tasteful tattoo on his shoulder blade. It’s a cross with a dove that represents some of his favorite Bible verses. Good for him.

I, on the other hand, didn’t want to get anything that didn’t mean anything to me. I also wasn’t ever really sure where I would put said tattoo. This is a very important decision. If I put it anywhere on my torso, it would stretch out when I have kids. If I put it on my shoulders, it would show in my wedding dress. I was told that if you got it on your lower back, it messes with a possible epidural (not sure if this is true or not). So, I just decided not to get one for the time being.

Fast forward about seven years. I’m out at my favorite bar in Nashville – The Stage. They have the best in-house band on Saturday nights – The Lewis Copeland Band. The lead singer’s tattoo catches my eye. It’s hard to see in the picture below. It says “blessed” but the “b” and the “d” are treble clef music symbols. I loved it. Not only because it was different, but because it meant something personal. I didn’t really think anything else of it, but just that it was really creative.


Credit: here


I wasn’t about to run out and copy his tattoo or anything, I just liked it. It stuck in my head. I have a really hard time remembering how blessed I truly am. Even though my life isn’t perfect, I’m so dang lucky. I started thinking that maybe I would get a “blessed” tattoo on my left wrist. Not big or anything, but tasteful and something I could cover up with a watch if I wanted to. I liked the idea, but if I’m going to get something permanently put on my body, I’m going to love it.

I was at home a while later helping my mom unpack in the new house. My mom is like me. She has a TON. OF. STUFF. So much that I didn’t know she had most of it. Well, I was unpacking a box and came across this:

Seriously. It’s a little sign that says “Blessed” in an adorable font. I didn’t know my mom had this, but took it as a sign (pun intended) that if I were to get a tattoo, this is what it would look like. Simple, tasteful and meaningful…and easily hidden. Everything I wanted.

So, now I’m just being chicken. I don’t really like needles, but I love this idea. Now I’m asking you all – do you have any tattoos? What and where are they? Do you like them? Does it really hurt that bad? Do you regret getting it? I’m so very curious to hear your answers!

Breathless: Part 2

To read the beginning of the story, click HERE.

After senior prom, life continued. I had graduated and was off at college.  Chris was living/working in Indy. We didn’t really talk for any of my freshman & sophomore years. Then I turned 21 and had just recently broken up with the guy I had dated for over a year. I should take this time to mention that Chris and my “thing” is music. It goes back to the CDs he had made me in high school. For some reason, our music tastes just clicked. We knew all the same songs and had no problem belting them out in the car together. For as long as I can remember, we’ve had two songs: “At the Stars” by Better than Ezra (our favorite band) and “Ordinary World” by Duran Duran (don’t mock it…I love that song.)

Better than Ezra comes to Indy once a year at a 21+ venue and even though he’d gone before, I’d never been able to get in. Finally, we got to go to the concert together. It was amazing. Aside from all the other songs we loved, they played “At the Stars.” I don’t remember anything else about those moments except Chris & I slow dancing in the middle of a huge crowd. It was like no one else existed in the world.  That moment will be forever etched in my mind.

After that, he started coming up to Purdue to hang out with me during my junior & senior years. We’d go out to the bars and have a blast just goofing around with each other. We never needed anyone else around to have a great time I have about a million pictures of him & I being stupid on random occasions. Since we were both obsessed with the Colts football team, we’d play imaginary football. We’d take turns being Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison in the middle of the deserted streets of Purdue. Even though it was stupid and immature, it was innocent and fun...and some of the best times I had in college.

More to come...

Things Single People Eat

As I’ve already covered, I am no Martha Stewart. My mom had to come decorate my past two apartments because I just didn’t care to. I had all the stuff, I just didn’t want to physically put it on the walls. So my mom did it for me. Seriously. Everything would still be in boxes if it weren’t for her. I love her.

Anyway, back to Martha Stewart. That woman can cook. So can Pioneer Woman. I cannot.

Actually that’s not true. I can cook when I try. However, that takes a whole lot of effort. First, it involves grocery shopping. I’m not a fan of shopping in general and fighting the Wicker Park crowd at Jewel on any given week night doesn’t rank high on my to-do list.

Secondly, it’s time consuming. When I get home from work, all I want to do is lay down. Seriously. I want my brain to shut off. I usually give myself half an hour to let the dog out, lay around, take a power nap…whatever. The last thing I want to do is whip up a four course meal...or even put a pot on the stove.

Thirdly, I’m not the best at following directions. I own cookbooks…plenty of them. But to me, they’re more like guidelines. This does not work well the majority of the time…especially when baking. It’s a disaster, actually. Something that looks delicious and should be tasty comes out drastically different than planned. And I get mad. Not at myself…at the recipe…because it lied to me.

Finally, the grocery store does not make it easy to cook for one person. I’m not going to eat a pound of ground beef by myself. Nor am I going to eat an entire can of veggies. The list goes on and on. It’s frustrating and because I’m tired (see two paragraphs up), the last thing I want is to be frustrated while trying to cook dinner.

So, you’re probably wondering what I actually EAT for dinner? Well, let me tell you. This is a list of things I’ve had for dinner in the past month (not including all the times I’ve eaten dinner out):

- Cereal
- A smoothie (super yummy and filling…especially after running)
- Instant brown rice with a can of tuna a drizzle of olive oil and salt/pepper
- Cereal
- Couscous with tuna & edamame
- Easy Mac
- Cereal
- PB&J Sandwich
- A glass of water
- Cereal
- Yogurt with cereal & frozen berries mixed in
- Pasta

First off, don’t judge me.

Secondly, I should explain that dinner has never been my biggest meal of the day. I worked in hotels where they feed you all sorts of free food and then you don’t have to cook dinner. (Side note: unlimited free food WILL cause you to gain weight.) So, at my new, perfect job, they don’t feed us free food. And it makes me (and my waistline) happy.

At first, I had delusions of grandeur. “I’m going to bring my lunch every day! Sandwiches and salads are in my future!” This lasted for a week. I then discovered the amazingness that is frozen, single serving meals. Hello, Lean Cuisine & Smart Ones? I’m a fan. I love you. Just 5 or less minutes and I have a yummy, easy meal sitting in front of me. And I’m not over-eating! How did I not know this world existed!?

So there you go. That’s how this working, single girl eats.

It’s a wonder I’m still single…seriously.


PS. …pray for my future husband…I hope he likes cereal.

A Series of Bad Dates: Part Two

Back when I lived in Nashville and Jerk & I had just broken up, I lived in an apartment complex with my roommate, Jenna. Because I had to take Lex out a few times a day, I eventually got to know my neighbors. Jay, an older bachelor lived below us with his dog, Rocky. Next to him lived Eric. At 33, Eric was a bit older than me. But whatever, we were all just having a good time.


Somehow, we all started hanging out by the pool every weekend drinking beer and getting some sun. It was a great way to spend our weekends. Around the middle of the summer, Eric asked me out. For our first outing, we went to a Fishing Tournament. No joke. It was my first ride on a motorcycle and my first fishing tournament. To be fair, his best friend was competing and he hadn’t seen him in a long time.

We continued hanging out for another month, going to BBQs and out to Silverado’s on Saturday nights. Eventually, he asked if I wanted to go to a field party. Being from the suburbs, I had NO idea what a field party was. Turns out, it’s a party in a field. Complete with bonfire and a ridiculous amount of liquor. Eric had grown up in the area and had a lot of friends at the party. I, on the other hand, knew one other person. At some point during the night, I lost track of Eric. I wasn’t that into him anyway, so I didn’t really care. I had, however driven him there, so felt obligated to drive him back.

Well, he finally showed up about an hour later…totally hammered. This is a TOTAL turn-off for me. You’re an adult. Know your limit. Once we get in the car and start driving back, he starts word vomiting everywhere.

“Lindsay, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I can’t get a read on you. Half the time you want to hang out with me, half the time you don’t act like you care and half the time I don’t know what to think!”

Um, ok genius. Not possible to have 3 halves. I smartly kept quiet and just let him continue rambling on.

“I mean really, Lindsay. I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m a f*ck*ng catch! People want to be with me…girls…lots and lots of girls would KILL to be in your place.”

Hold up there, buddy. Did you actually just tell me you’re a “f*ck*ng catch?” Seriously? To me?

With all of my being I wanted to retort “What part of you is a ‘catch?’ The part where you smoke? Or that you live in an apartment at the age of 33? Or that you refuse to work hard to have anything in your life? Oh no, it’s the part where you get ridiculously drunk all the time, isn’t it? That has to be it.”

He ended up getting laid off a few weeks later and moved back to his hometown in Texas. Thank goodness.  My friends still love to tell this story, they think it’s hilarious…and it is. 

I’m thinking that if you have to tell someone you’re a catch…you’re probably not.

Breathless: Part 1

It’s funny how you meet some people in life. The majority of friends you meet in school or at church or somewhere random. I met one of my best friends when I was 15 working at an arcade in Fishers, Indiana. He was 17, tall, went to a rival high school and totally looks like a hotter version of Neil Patrick Harris. We actually dated for a few months back then. My favorite thing about him is that he used to make me great CDs. For instance, I’d had a really bad day and still had to work. He had his senior dinner to go to and we were smack in the middle of a huge ice storm. I didn’t expect to see him at all that day and was totally bummed out. Then, out of nowhere, he comes walking up with a rose and a CD for me. I knew I really liked him in that instant…plus, he had great taste in music…what was not to like? What I didn’t know was how significant he would be in my life.

We went on dates to the most random places. We celebrated my 16th birthday at a cheesy restaurant downtown where he kissed me for the first time in the elevator. We’d go to BW3’s and watch football. I’d go watch him and his friends play basketball in the neighboring town. He would always lose his keys and wallet...it was endearing. We’d joke around together at work and spent many summer nights hanging out on our trampoline just looking at the trees. Most importantly, he was there for me when my family life was falling apart.

We had a great few months, but like most teenage relationships – it ended. We were supposed to go to his senior prom together, but ended up breaking up before then. Of course there was drama surrounding it, but again, that’s to be expected when you’re a teenager. He graduated, went off to college and we kept in touch.

Fast forward a few years and I am a senior in high school. I wanted to go to my senior prom with someone important and couldn’t think of a better person than Chris. We’d remained really good friends throughout the past few years. There are great pictures of this event…and most of them involve me looking like I Dream of Genie. (Note to all high-schoolers: DO NOT DESIGN YOUR OWN PROM DRESS. I look at it now and wonder how anyone let me out in public like that.)  Prom was an interesting night, but I'm so glad I chose to go with Chris.



To be continued…

"Gettin' Married"

One of the commenters from my "Planning" post directed me to this video.  It's so perfect :) 

**If you are a gettin' married or havin' babies...please do not take offense.  Sometimes single girls feel this way and it has nothing to do with you :) **

Home

This past weekend I was able to head down South and visit my friends in Nashville. It’s always so good to see them. I can’t believe a few months have already passed since they came up here to visit. Time really flies. I hadn’t seen Babykins since the middle of May. Poor thing barely recognized me. Only after I spent two days with him did he finally not immediately start crying when he saw me! I guess that’s what you get when you move 600 miles away.


After a great flight (my row was the life of the party on Southwest!), I got to spend Friday night with the girls having a fabulous dinner at La Paz and ice cream at Sweet CiCis. So yummy. Then I went back to Stacia’s to “help” her bake a cake (she does it professionally). By “help” I mean, sit there, play DJ and look at things online. I’m not allowed to touch anything. It makes sense if you’ve ever seen me bake (which you probably haven’t, because I don’t…for good reason.)

The next morning, after running around their neighborhood in the blazing heat (um, hello Nashville? It’s FALL. Get the memo.), I had a delicious chocolate croissant, got ready and headed to Jen’s. I had grand plans for going out…but it turned into movie night with a few beers. I was exhausted. Jen & I got to have lunch with Carrie - a former co-worker - at Cheesecake Factory and did a little retail therapy in the Green Hills area. Sunday night Jen & Matt made yummy fajitas, Charlie & Stacia came over and we watched a movie (Date Night = hilarious!). It was good just to have time to catch up. I watched Babykins on Monday. We went to the park to run around in the 90 degree heat. Seriously, Nashville…summer has ended! By the time he woke up from his nap, it was time for me to head to the airport. Sort of sad, but I got a lot of cute pictures of him over the weekend…and none of anything else. So not cool.

As much fun as I had this weekend, I was actually ready to get back to Chicago. For months, I’ve been referring to Nashville as “home.” It still seemed that a lot of my life was there and I was just trying Chicago on for size. I was talking to my mom on the way to the airport when she asked if I was ready to leave. She fully expected me to say “no” and start bawling because I had to leave my friends. I surprised her, and myself, when I said “Yeah, I’m ready to get back home.” Neither of us saw it coming.

It was great to see my friends. I hate that I don’t get to do so more often. Yes, it makes me sad that I don’t get to be Babykin’s primary babysitter anymore and it hurts that he doesn’t recognize me. Yep, it absolutely sucks that I don’t get to hang out with Jen, Matt, Stacia, Charlie, Rebecca, Carrie and everyone else all the time. I gave up a life in Nashville with the hopes of a better one in Chicago. While it will be hard to top the amazing friends I made there, this life - my Chicago life - is perfect for me at this point. I’m sure I’ll go through many ups and downs just like I did in Nashville, but this is where I know I’m meant to be. As I curled up in my messy, hot room last night, I was just happy to finally be home.

Up To Speed...

First off, if you don’t already read Amy’s blog…go over there right now and do so! She and her husband are absolutely adorable. I love that she always tells the truth about their struggle with infertility and yet, she still stays positive, sees that God is in control and has a plan....even though it's not easy.  To be honest, I love seeing her posts on my Google Reader every morning. The other day, she had a great post encouraging people to share their stories of their “click” moment. Go HERE right now and read it. It’s amazing how many people are struggling with the same things (singleness, infertility, job issues, etc) and it’s great to see that while we may not have all the answers, God does. And that is OK.

So, being the blog stalker I am…I participated. I figured there has GOT to be more amazing, single girls out there struggling with God’s timing. And what do you know…there are! And they even commented! This is amazing to me. So, if you are new to my blog, welcome!!  Now please allow me to give you a very quick tour of my life.

This is me:



 This is my family:



We don’t normally dress like this. It was my cousin’s wedding…where I was a bridesmaid. Shocking.



I grew up here:

(Glamorous, is it not?)

After surviving high school, I went off to college here:


(Go BOILERS!)



Finally, after four awesome fun-filled years, they gave me a degree and kicked me out. So, I picked up and moved here:

This was not in my plan, but the job was too perfect to pass up. I worked for an amazing company that has a hotel resembling this:

I started dating a guy we call “Jerk” within two weeks of settling in. We continued dating for almost two years….until I realized that it wasn’t working and he was, in fact, a jerk. During this time, I didn’t really have any friends at work or in my life at all. It was a dark, dark period in my life. There are a few blog posts on this if you go back in the short history of my blog. So, back to the story, we broke up. Yay!

The only good thing that came out of that crappy relationship was this:

This is Lexie – she’s my little Morkie puppy. She weighs 8lbs and has entirely too much personality for her own good. But she’s adorable, so I put up with it.

All of a sudden, things started falling into place for me. I started liking my job and then met these people at work:

You can read all about these ladies HERE. They are my “people.” They put me back together again and became my family in the South. One of them even made me an Aunt for the first time. I love her for that.

So by this point, my life was cruising along fairly well. I had a bunch of great friends, a decent job and didn’t really need anything else. Then it hit me: I should start dating. It didn’t go well. You can read about that HERE.

Eventually, I realized that while I had grown to love the South and all the people there, it wasn’t where I was meant to stay. So, I prayed about it and started searching for any job possible. Lo and behold, God provided. And I cried. It was a good thing. You can read about it HERE.

After some drama, I moved here:

I worked for a crappy company for 6 months before landing my dream job downtown. You can read about that HERE.

So, that catches the newbies up on my life. Again, this is NOT where I thought I’d be when I mapped out my life. But, it’s the perfect place for me. I can’t imagine my life being much better. We’ll see though…God always has something in store.

My Life...on another blog

I found an amazing blog post that perfectly describes my life...with pictures, no less.  The hysterical Allie at Hyperbole & a Half makes perfect light of my lack of responsibility.  Whenever I have a bad day, this is where I go to laugh. 

Here's my favorite post:  This is Why I'll Never Be An Adult.  Seriously one of the best blog posts I've seen in a while!  She's a definite favorite in my Google reader :)

Weekend Update

This past weekend was interesting. Friday night, I packed up Lex and headed out to the suburbs to hang out with Ann, Jaime, Harper & Ann’s mom, Mary. It was nice to have a low key, pizza & wine fueled evening. We just hung around and talked. Lex and Haper barked up a storm – they LOVE each other. Unfortunately, we didn’t sleep too much because the dogs kept us up the whole night, but that was alright.


Saturday morning, we lounged around for a while and worked on some wedding stuff. I can’t believe it’s coming up so soon! Ann has so many creative ideas and I can’t wait to see them all in one place at one time! It’s going to be beautiful. It’s been a rough road for her, so I know she’s excited to just get married, go on a much needed vacation and get away from all the drama. She definitely deserves it at this point!

I eventually rolled back into town and headed over to Jason’s. Things between us have been rough lately…and it’s mostly been my doing. I have a lot of stuff going on with my family right now and I’ve needed to deal with that in my own way. Unfortunately, this made me push Jason away and left him hurt and confused. After doing a lot of soul searching, I realized that I didn’t see myself marrying him for several reasons. The reasons were my own and not everyone understands them, but to me, they are valid. At this point, I had two options: I could go on ignoring that fact, or be upfront and honest with him. I chose the second. Jason sometimes reads this, so I’m not going to go over all the details out of respect for him. I’ll just say that he is a great guy…definitely the best I’ve dated. We had a great time together and there are so many things I like about him. But the cold, hard reality was that I couldn’t lead him on in false hope. I hope he knows that I didn’t go into this planning on hurting him and I’m SO sorry that it had to end this way. I really do hope that he and I can remain friends, but I understand that he’s not ready (or may not ever be ready) for that.

That kind of put a damper on my Saturday because no one likes to have those conversations. I called Megan (Jason’s best friend’s wife and my close friend) on the way home because I wanted her to hear what happened from me. As always, she was amazing and having been in a similar situation, she totally understood. Thank God for great friends.

I eventually put on my running shoes and went to relieve some stress. I hadn’t run the entire week so it was good to get back into it (I signed up for a 5k in less than a month!). It’s amazing how that will totally clear your head…it felt so good.

That night, my roommate and I went out. Amanda & I have lived together since July and hadn’t ever been in the same city over the weekends. This weekend, by all miracles, we were both in Chicago…and I needed to go OUT. So out we went! We hit up a couple Wicker Park/Bucktown bars…and it was a BLAST. I met some people from Indiana and had a great time meeting new people. It was a great way to take my mind off of everything. I have absolutely no clue what time we got home, but puppy & I fell into bed and didn’t wake up until 10am.

I stayed in my pajamas until at least five and then went to the grocery store. Coincidentally, ALL of the hot men in Wicker Park hang out at the Jewel on Sunday nights. Seriously…what is the deal with that!? I did run into my cousin and his girlfriend though. I love that I live in a place where that’s actually possible! I wrapped up the weekend with another run (Amanda came with me, too) and some episodes of How I Met Your Mother.

This week is getting busier by the second. I’m going to see Billy Elliot on Wednesday with Caitlin (Ben’s girlfriend) and am THRILLED at that! Then on Friday, I leave for N.A.S.H.V.I.L.L.E! Holy crap, I’m SO excited to see my friends and of course, Babykins!!

“After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away” ~Carrie Bradshaw

25 Things

**I did one of these a while back on Facebook.  That one was pretty lame. 

This one is slightly less lame.**

1. When I have more than two drinks, my Southern accent comes out. I have no control over this, but people in Chicago think it’s hilarious.


2. I can hear a song one time and sing it back to you. Memorizing lyrics is my talent

3. I can still do the splits, reach 8 inches past my toes and touch my head to my feet…backwards. That’s what 10 years of gymnastics will do to you. These also make for great bar tricks.

4. I absolutely suck at team sports. Anyone who’s seen me play kickball can attest to this.

5. I talk to my dog. Sometimes, she answers me.

6. I speed read. Due to this, I’ve actually read the same book twice without realizing it until later.

7. People in Tennessee call me a Yankee because I'm from Indiana, but people from Chicago call me a southerner because I'm from Indiana.

8. I'm terrified of a lot of Disney movies. The main ones are Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Pinocchio, Lady & the Tramp, and Bambi. For some reason I have horrible memories of these movies and absolutely refuse to watch them.

9. I still have bad dreams about the “Kiddy-Napper” from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. That guy scared the crap out of me as a kid, but I still love the movie.

10. My Google Reader is full of wedding photographers and Mom’s of Multiples Blogs. I don’t know why I find both of those so fascinating.

11. I have recently learned that I cannot and should not dance in public. People can take pictures of it…and it’s not pretty.

12. I'm obsessed with music. Any kind: Broadway, Country, Pop, 80s, Classic Rock, ect. When I hear a song, it takes me back to the place I first heard it. I always have music on and usually sing in the shower & the car. 

13. I hate shopping for clothes. I love shopping for shoes and home décor.

14. I’m happiest when I’m near water. Any type: Ocean, Lake, Swimming pool…whatever.

15. I’m a big believer in going with your gut. It’s nearly impossible for me to ignore mine.

16. I love my huge family. My little cousins are adorable – all 23 of them. It is so much fun to watch them grow up.

17. I took piano lessons for 10 years and can absolutely not play anything. I desperately wish my parents wouldn’t have let me quit.

18. The only living thing allowed in my apartment (besides me & my roommate) is my dog. Plants don’t stand a chance with me. It’s a disaster.

19. Sometimes, my favorite thing to do is nothing. I love just laying around the house in my PJs and snuggling with Lexie.

20. I love DVR. I hate commercials. Currently, I’m addicted to: Glee, How I Met Your Mother, Modern Family, Law & Order SVU, & Brother’s & Sisters.

21. Caffeine makes me go insane. I’m not allowed to have iced coffee and be around people…I literally bounce.

22. I refuse to settle…for anything.

23. I thought I’d get married at 25 – I’m rapidly approaching 27 and am shockingly ok with the fact that I’m nowhere near being married.

24. I didn’t drink beer all throughout college. I do now…and love it.

25. It’s really hard to think of 25 things…plus, I’m at work…I should probably go get some work done :)