A Long Time Coming

So, I haven’t updated my blog since November. I’m fully aware of this. Sometimes, life just gets too busy and things fall by the wayside. However, this time, it was intentional.

My funk after Ann’s wedding kind of shocked me. I didn’t snap out of it for almost a week. I finally pulled myself up and realized that I needed to start living my life instead of writing about wanting to live my life. Does that make any sense?

I decided to really live my life the way I want to…not the way I felt everyone else wanted me to. So, I started going out more…even if I was by myself. The weather here kind of sucks during the winter, but I still managed to hang out with friends in my neighborhood. I got to see my older cousin and his girlfriend more and even started doing Hot Yoga.

Eventually, got enough confidence to finally do this:


Kind of looks weird, but that's my left wrist...

Ann went with me (b/c she’s awesome) on a Saturday night to get it done. To say that I love it is a gross understatement. Every time I look at it, I’m reminded how fortunate I am…and that I’m meant to live this life to the fullest. I can’t worry about how everyone will react to the decisions I make. For someone with oldest child syndrome who has always worried about what other people thought or how they would react (from parents, to cousins, to random strangers), this is a huge deal.

At some point though, I think everyone has to accept that they are who they are…flaws and all. I’m not perfect by any means. I make mistakes all the time. But, I always learn from my mistakes and make the next try better. I cannot live in fear that someone is going to judge me or that I’m not doing something perfectly. What kind of life is that? It’s not one.

I read a great quote from Donald Miller that said “Fear is a manipulative emotion that tricks us into leading a boring life.” This was the jolt that shook me out of my funk for good.  Yes, I still have days where I'm a little off or I'm too much into my own thoughts and worried about what everyone thinks or says about me.  But this is not their life.  It's mine...and I'm going to live it!

So, that’s the beginning of the story. There is SO much more that has happened in the past three months that I cannot wait to share!!